Reviews and Comments

I am way, way behind on my book reviews. Who was a top-40, pop-culturally influenced gay in the early 2000s? raises hand This guy. So, even though I don't read many memoirs, of course I read The Woman in Me (back in April).

I've always been a fan of Britney Spears' music, but this book gave me a completely new perspective on her life. Reading this memoir, I was shocked to learn just how much control others had over her during her conservatorship. I honestly thought it was just about managing her finances, but it went so much deeper than that. Everyone around her dictated her work schedule, what she ate, who she could spend time with—basically every aspect of her life. It's no wonder she showed signs of mental and emotional abuse. The level of control was infuriating and heartbreaking to read about.

I had forgotten how young Britney was when she entered the music industry. She shot to fame at just 16 years old. I can't imagine being in the public spotlight at that age—I was still figuring out how to be a person then. I even went back and watched her 2000 Saturday Night Live episode, which she hosted at just 18. Her talent and work ethic were obvious in her performances, but it was uncomfortable to see how many of the show's jokes focused on her sexuality. She writes about this too—that everyone wants women to be sexy but not sexual. You can't have it both ways, and that pressure clearly took a toll.

My only critique is that I sometimes wished Britney had gone even deeper into her feelings and reflections. But she's already sharing so much of herself and her life in this book. It's hard to ask for more when she's been so vulnerable.

Reading this memoir left me with a newfound respect for Britney, not just as an artist but as a person. If she never wanted to perform or be in the public eye again, I wouldn't blame her. This book was a reminder that she's not just a pop star or a tabloid fixture but a human being. She's earned the right to live her life on her own terms, and after everything she's been through, I can only wish her peace and happiness.

In March, after finishing a few books about what ADHD is and how it works, I moved on to "The Couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD" by Melissa Orlov and Nancie Kohlenberger. The book is aimed at couples dealing with the unique challenges that ADHD can bring to a relationship, offering practical strategies for improving communication and connection.

I took SO MANY notes from this book.

One of the strengths of this book is its focus on collaboration. Rather than placing blame or focusing solely on the person with ADHD, the authors emphasize the importance of teamwork and mutual understanding: “Neither partner’s experience is ‘right’ or ‘wrong,’ but they can be quite different.”

Each chapter is filled with real-life examples that help illustrate the points the authors are making. These stories make the advice feel more relatable and less clinical. More often than I care to admit, I found myself reacting to chapters with, "Oh gawd, it’s us." The authors describe how common ADHD symptoms like forgetfulness, impulsivity, and distractibility can lead to frustration and misunderstandings in a relationship, offering tips for addressing these issues together.

Finally, I appreciated that the book acknowledged the difficulty of living with ADHD, whether as the partner with ADHD or as the non-ADHD partner. While beneficial, it can be exhausting to learn new ways to communicate and interpret each other’s "language." The book stresses the importance of taking care of yourself to maintain a healthy relationship.

Overall, "The Couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD" is a thoughtful and practical resource for couples looking to strengthen their relationship and navigate the challenges of ADHD together.

Back in March, just two days before Nick was admitted to the hospital, I finished "You'd Better Not Die or I'll Kill You" by Jane Heller. How's that for timing? This book is part memoir, part self-help, and all about Heller's experiences as a caregiver for her husband, who has Crohn's disease and other health issues.

Heller's writing style appealed to me. She's straightforward and funny, which makes even the heavy topics feel a bit lighter. The book is structured around different themes like dealing with doctors, managing stress, and maintaining your own health and happiness. The author doesn't sugarcoat the difficulties, which I appreciated. She talks about the emotional toll caregiving can take, but also offers practical tips and resources that can help.

One chapter was about the importance of self-care. Heller emphasizes that caregivers need to take care of themselves to be able to take care of their loved ones. She shares her own struggles with this and how she eventually learned to prioritize her own well-being without feeling guilty.

"Remember, if you go down the drain, you're not going to be much good to the person you're caring for. So take a deep breath, put on your favorite music, and give yourself a break."

Another chapter discusses how friendships can change. I am "on call" around the clock. I have had to change or cancel plans so often that I'm disinclined to even make them anymore. I'm so afraid of having to disappoint or "flake out" on people that I prefer to do activities alone now. The book confirmed that friendships often suffer as caregiving causes a person's priorities and availability to change.

I've been taking care of Nick in some form or fashion for 20+ years, so I didn't walk away from the book with anything new or profound, but I did find it entertaining and validating. As the author shared her stories and those of other caregivers, it was affirming to see that I'm not alone and that it's okay to laugh.

"Will Grayson, Will Grayson" is a unique and engaging young adult novel that follows the lives of two teenage boys, both named Will Grayson, whose paths unexpectedly cross in Chicago. First published in 2010, the story alternates between the perspectives of the two Wills, each dealing with their own struggles—one with friendship and relationships, the other with depression and coming out as gay. Their meeting sets off a chain of events that lead to self-discovery, personal growth, and the realization of the importance of friendship and identity.

The primary themes in "Will Grayson, Will Grayson" include friendship, identity, and the complexities of teenage life. John Green and David Levithan bring their distinctive voices to each of the Will Graysons, making their characters deeply relatable and authentic. The alternating chapters provide a dynamic narrative structure that keeps the reader engaged. The book's pacing is brisk, with a good balance of humor, drama, and poignant moments. Although labeled as "young adult," the novel is neither simple nor immature. It is a fun, light read, with a somewhat predictable ending, but that doesn't make it any less entertaining.

I found this book both heartwarming and thought-provoking. The book tackles important social issues with humor and heart. The dual narrative style effectively highlights the distinct yet interconnected journeys of the two protagonists. A memorable moment for me was the high school musical production, which brought together the diverse cast of characters and underscored the book’s themes of acceptance and community. The portrayal of mental health struggles and LGBTQ+ issues was handled with sensitivity and realism, making it resonate deeply with me.

Probably the most fun quote from the book is when one of the protagonists finds themselves in a Chicago porn store: "It's kinda boring, actually. It looks like a regular store–shelves of DVDs and old VHS tapes and a rack of magazines, all under this harsh fluorescent glow. I mean, there ARE some differences from a regular video store, I guess, like (A) At the regular video store, very few of the DVDs have the words 'guzzling' or 'slut' in them, whereas here the opposite seems to be the case, and also (B) I'm pretty sure the regular video store doesn't have any devices used for spanking, whereas this place has several. Also, (C) There are very few items for sale at the regular video store that make you think, 'I have no earthly idea what that is supposed to do or where it is supposed to do it.'"